Back Archive Latest Next
X marks the spot — it seems quite obvious that I will find my next clue in Moscow.

Saturday, December 27th, 2003

Saint Petersburg, Russia

Akinchan Holmes

X marks the spot?

Well, kids, did you find out what happened to Christmas? I have investigated many of the clues and suggestions in your emails about who or what might be responsible for the missing Christmas holiday here in Russia, and here is what I have found so far:

First, it seems fairly certain that Christmas was not stolen.

To all of you kids who sent me those "Duh! The Grinch stole Christmas" emails: I asked Lucille to call Who-ville and she reports that the mayor says that the Grinch is still there, and that he is still behaving himself.

And to all the adults who suggested that George Bush might have stolen Christmas for a "Christmas in November" photo opportunity next year, I can confirm that Karl Rove is on vacation (perhaps deservedly so after those stupid "mission accomplished" and "plastic turkey" stunts) — and we know that Georgie boy cannot act without adult supervision...

Second, I did find what could be a valuable clue near the fireplace by the main chimney in the temple: a scorched piece of what looks like an old Christmas card, with the barely decipherable words Xmos, or Xmas, written on it.

After studying the clue with a big Sherlock Holmes type magnifying glass, I am pretty sure that the third letter is an o and that the Mos is part of the word Moscow. And we all know what the X stands for, right? X marks the spot.

So it seems quite obvious that I will find my next clue in Moscow. Did not the great Sherlock Holmes say, "Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth"?

After the Saturday public program here at the Saint Petersburg temple tonight, my assistant Dinashraya Watson and I will get the midnight train to Moscow to investigate further.

Log on tomorrow to see what the intrepid investigators discover in Moscow...

Previous  |  Archive  |  Letters  |  Latest  |  Next
iMonk Tilak URL:
Layout by imonk — December 27th, 2003.