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The desire for recognition and fame (pratishta) is insidious, and very difficult to give up.

Saturday, February 28th, 2004

Kolkata, India

Future Prospects

Danger at every step

Avadhut Maharaj returns to Russia tonight. I ride with him to the domestic terminal of the Kolkata airport. He is actually flying to Kiev in the Ukraine first, to do a Sunday program there before returning to Moscow tomorrow evening.

Earlier today we spent some time together (a rare event with Avadhut Maharaj because he is always so busy) going over the possibilities for preaching and lecturing in Russia and some of the former states of the U.S.S.R. that are now independent countries.

I have no desire to be a big preacher (I think!). I am pretty sure that Srila Guru Maharaj cured me of that when he chastised me so heavily in the fall of '83, but you never know... The desire for recognition and fame (pratishta) is insidious, and very difficult to give up... The key is to be egoless (trnad api sunicena) and try always to work under the guidance of Sri Guru and his senior disciples.

So it is good to keep busy. I like this itinerant lifestyle because you are not in one place long enough to form attachments. California is dangerous for me. Under the direction of Guru and/or the Vaishnavas, I may travel from place to place, forced to dive deeper and deeper into reality, to try to properly present the unique Krishna conception of divinity expounded by my Gurudevas.

Who knows what the future holds? I may be gone tomorrow. I just want to try, while I still can, to carry out the will of Guru and Vaishnava.

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